I've decided to blog again. I used to journal, but there's something great about typing with mistakes and all and being able to backspace that error and start again. I love it. It's convenient. It's better than writing on paper. I can't remember the last time I wrote a letter let alone a journal entry. Is that why people's handwriting suck now a days? I wonder...
Alot has happened with in these past 6 years or whenever the last blog posting was. For starters...it's official. We are now retired from the military. 20 years he served, 18.5 of it I was along side of him for the ride. It was one heck of a journey. I really lucked out and can honestly say, it was all good. The only bad parts was loosing friends in the war. The rest was just petty, nonsense crap that every other military family goes through. Deployments, schooling, training, field exercises, tours, all the "fun stuff." Along the way, we've made countless friends, and a small circle of close friends we deem as family. We're currently looking at him job hunting and finishing up his degree and me going back to school come this fall. It's about damn time that's for sure! I'm grateful for the fact that 1) I'm going to school for free. 2) books will be paid for. 3) I get a housing stipend (meaning, my mortgage will be covered while I'm actively in school. 4) Thank you Frank for turning over the GI bill to me. What a blessing it is....
I am now down to 2 dogs. I had the most heart wrenching moment a week ago/4 years ago of putting my dog Soraiah down. She was sick for a week, I finally made the decision to take her in, and found out after a couple hours, she had diabetes and was in really bad shape. Even if we were to put her on meds it was so touch and go that the doc was unsure she was going to make it. I had to make the hardest decision and let her go. I stayed with her to the very end. It was just Soraiah and me with the doc on the floor of the vet clinic room. A few years later, my Hunny was next. I woke up to use the bathroom and noticed she didn't move like she normally did. I realized she had passed away moments earlier. Sophie Grace actually woke me up and thought she had to go potty, so I went first and that's when I found her. She was still warm, but not breathing. She died of a big heart. The most sweetest, loving pup we've ever had. Yesterday, we celebrated Miss Mocha's birthday. She turned 9! I gave Momo a bath, then we took her to Petsmart to pick out a toy and treats. She also loved her car ride. She stuck her head out the window and loved the wind blowing in her face. It was quite a scene lol
Almost 2 years ago, my mother in law Angelica moved in with us. 2 nights ago, we had the biggest fight ever. She's suffering from low self esteem, depression and who knows what else. I honestly am afraid for her. I don't want to wake up one morning and find out that she hurt herself on purpose. She stated that she wants to kill herself, she wants to die and just be done living. She feels she's worthless and no one wants her. She feels she's a burden to us. I've been around people w/ depression (my dad) and it's not something to ever take lightly. It's a cancer that affects your thinking and makes you feel the lowest of low in every aspect of your life. Being around people who suffer from this tends to make you feel less of a human as well. It's up to us to keep the mood alive/happy/cheerful no matter what. But that's just it. It's exhausting, it's draining, it's beginning to wear thin. I can't find my happy sometimes. I miss me. I miss smiling. I miss wanting to live in my home and just be happy. Lately, I find I hate coming home. I hate being around her. I hate her behavior. I hate seeing her beat herself up emotionally and not be positive or have a better attitude. We've given her everything. A beautiful, comfortable, clean home with a fully stocked pantry, beautiful yards, easy access to the outside. We've upgraded her bathroom to make it easy for her to use w/ assist bars. We've signed her up for social security, she's receiving benefits and gets a little stipend from Chile as well. She's now a U.S. resident and qualifies for medicare. She is now our dependent (but we can't claim her), and now that she's set up well (better off living her than in Chile) we've even set her up to go to the senior center, but she won't go. She makes excuses that she doesn't want to go and would rather stay home. She stays in her room ALL DAY (with the exception of coming out to smoke). She needs social interaction w/ peers her age. But, she'd rather stay home. She's scared. She's afraid and won't go out unless it's with us. She's always, with us.
For now, I'll close. I need to get ready for work. I'm enjoying my morning listening to my husband on the phone w/ a phone interview (more of a greeting to see if he's interested in working for Oracle). No word on the other 2 job interviews he went to. This is really sucking. One month out and still no job. Lord, help us with our finances. We seem to make it out by the skin of our teeth. . .but we are forever grateful and most appreciative of all that you have done for us and supplying and meeting our needs. Thank you Lord!
Monday, February 29, 2016
Sunday, August 22, 2010
SUNDAY, AUGUST 22, 2010
It's been such a long time since I sat down and blogged. Right now, I'm sitting on my sofa, with my Momo lying next to me asleep, while Hunny and Roo Roo are on the floor snoring and dreaming of who knows what. It's fascinating to sit here and watch the dogs dream. Roo Roo and Hunny's paws are moving as if they're running after something. I love watching the dogs dream.
An hour or so ago, my husband and I got to skype :) The internet connection was slow as usual, so his video came out all pixelated, nonetheless it was great to see him. My husband left on May 4th, 2010 to go to Fort Hood, TX for a couple of weeks of training. On May 24th my husband deployed out of Fort Hood, TX to Kuwait. He's currently deployed and even though we've been married 11 years this year. . .it's tough. I honestly dislike him being gone. No spouse should ever have to say "goodbye" to each other for a year or so. Thanks to Skype we get to talk and video conference with each other every so often. I don't get to talk with him everyday, so whenever we do get to chat, it's such a treat.
He's been gone since May and everyday isn't as easy as it seems. I do get lonely and I do miss the attention from him. I miss his hugs and his presence the most. The house is so quiet and the sound of the tv drowns out my loneliness. Even though it's temporary, I miss him so much.
Summer camp has finally ended and I thank God for my job this summer. It has helped tremendously with keeping my mind occupied as well as keeping me physically tired for the past 8 weeks! Now that camp is over, it's time to move on to getting our before & after school care program up and running. I have 2 weeks without kids which will be so nice! I can go in anytime and do what I have to do and then leave :) YAY!
I'll close my blog for now. I hope to remember to come back often and update this thing! Here's to the remainder of the summer. . .let's hope for good things to come :)
An hour or so ago, my husband and I got to skype :) The internet connection was slow as usual, so his video came out all pixelated, nonetheless it was great to see him. My husband left on May 4th, 2010 to go to Fort Hood, TX for a couple of weeks of training. On May 24th my husband deployed out of Fort Hood, TX to Kuwait. He's currently deployed and even though we've been married 11 years this year. . .it's tough. I honestly dislike him being gone. No spouse should ever have to say "goodbye" to each other for a year or so. Thanks to Skype we get to talk and video conference with each other every so often. I don't get to talk with him everyday, so whenever we do get to chat, it's such a treat.
He's been gone since May and everyday isn't as easy as it seems. I do get lonely and I do miss the attention from him. I miss his hugs and his presence the most. The house is so quiet and the sound of the tv drowns out my loneliness. Even though it's temporary, I miss him so much.
Summer camp has finally ended and I thank God for my job this summer. It has helped tremendously with keeping my mind occupied as well as keeping me physically tired for the past 8 weeks! Now that camp is over, it's time to move on to getting our before & after school care program up and running. I have 2 weeks without kids which will be so nice! I can go in anytime and do what I have to do and then leave :) YAY!
I'll close my blog for now. I hope to remember to come back often and update this thing! Here's to the remainder of the summer. . .let's hope for good things to come :)
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thanksgiving Weekend 2009
Happy Thanksgiving! Frank and I spent Thanksgiving together. Frank deep fried a small turkey and I baked a small turkey as well LOL Both came out REALLY GOOD! We had stuffing, potato salad, Mashed potatoes and candied yams. We were reminiscing of a time 11 years ago when Frank and I got back together. It was the BEST and GREATEST choice I made. I always tell Frank, "I" chose him ;-) All in all we had a wonderful Thanksgiving together. Our fridge is full of leftovers and our bellies are content!
This is the first time in YEARS that I did not wake up early and venture out in the cold to shop for great prices. I originally wanted to hit the stores, but opted not to simply because my shopping is 'almost' done! I have 2 more people to buy for and then that's it :-)
Last night I was online and found a mall up in Manassas and asked Frank if he was up to checking it out today. We got up around 10am and an hour later we hit the road. We were both surprised that there was NO major traffic in the direction we were heading (West=away from the metro area). The other surprise was how many "Hawaiians" lived out here! I saw several vehicles with local stickers, UH of Manoa decals, as well as Aunty's with Hawaiian bracelets LOL Felt awesome :) This mall had JCPenney's, Target, Wal-Mart, Macy's and Sears (as the anchor stores) and of all restaurants, an IHOP as well! If they had a Lane Bryant I'd be freakin happy and beg to move there! How great is that right?! Not only that, they had a Costco up the road, a really nice Dollar Tree in the other direction, a Marshalls across the street and a bunch of other stores as well! We hit ALL the major stores and would you believe, we only spent $100. Seriously. Great deals though :)
Tomorrow our church is "decking the halls!" Which gave me an idea..."WE" need to deck our halls! Normally we decorate the house as soon as we're done shopping, however the past couple years we've decorated on Saturday. I think tomorrow that's what we'll do! Supposed to be a nice sunny day too!
Sunday will be my day of rest. Laundry, cleaning the house and preparing meals for the week!
I hope you had a great Thanksgiving/Black Friday holiday :) May you be blessed all season ☺
This is the first time in YEARS that I did not wake up early and venture out in the cold to shop for great prices. I originally wanted to hit the stores, but opted not to simply because my shopping is 'almost' done! I have 2 more people to buy for and then that's it :-)
Last night I was online and found a mall up in Manassas and asked Frank if he was up to checking it out today. We got up around 10am and an hour later we hit the road. We were both surprised that there was NO major traffic in the direction we were heading (West=away from the metro area). The other surprise was how many "Hawaiians" lived out here! I saw several vehicles with local stickers, UH of Manoa decals, as well as Aunty's with Hawaiian bracelets LOL Felt awesome :) This mall had JCPenney's, Target, Wal-Mart, Macy's and Sears (as the anchor stores) and of all restaurants, an IHOP as well! If they had a Lane Bryant I'd be freakin happy and beg to move there! How great is that right?! Not only that, they had a Costco up the road, a really nice Dollar Tree in the other direction, a Marshalls across the street and a bunch of other stores as well! We hit ALL the major stores and would you believe, we only spent $100. Seriously. Great deals though :)
Tomorrow our church is "decking the halls!" Which gave me an idea..."WE" need to deck our halls! Normally we decorate the house as soon as we're done shopping, however the past couple years we've decorated on Saturday. I think tomorrow that's what we'll do! Supposed to be a nice sunny day too!
Sunday will be my day of rest. Laundry, cleaning the house and preparing meals for the week!
I hope you had a great Thanksgiving/Black Friday holiday :) May you be blessed all season ☺
Friday, September 11, 2009
LASTNIGHTS DREAM
I can honestly say, that I have never had a dream like this in my entire life. It had shaken me to the point where even now, 26 hours later, I'm deathly afraid to go to bed. I think subconsciously my brain is scared, my eyes are tired, my body is tired, my brain is scared. Times like this, I wish I could flip the switch off to my brain.
My dream--I was sitting in my living room trying to comfort my mother in law who had recently lost her sister. My mother in law was grieving and couldn't stop crying, my dream was utterly depressing...nothing I said, was making her feel better. In fact, Angelica began yelling at me in Spanish saying things like, leave me alone, you don't understand how it feels to loose a loved one. I did know how it felt, however, I walked away and let her be. This part of the dream is fuzzy, but I remember my dad standing in front of me smiling and saying, Ho babe! Finally yo hea, been waiting long time! You ready for go? I remember looking at my dad saying, WHAT?! Why are YOU here?! YOU'RE..................... DEAD!!! Then I notice my papa standing next to my dad and my dad tells me, I'm dead? No babe, You're DEAD! Then he smiles--but I'm completely unafraid. My papa says, come on we go...we gotta go already...been here too long, hurry up! Then before I could say anything, Angelica's sister (tia Amaya) shows up and is soo happy and smiles and says, Thank you for being with Angelica. You really helped her (I can't remember what else she said,) because at this time, I notice my self lying in the bed. As if I'm flying above my body looking at it and see my husband laying next to me. I swear it was like an out of body experience! I remember yelling at Frank trying to get him to look at me, but he kept sleeping...I remember waking up and crying. Literally bawling my eyes out cause I was like, WTH was that?!
All I can say is, I hope it's not a premonition to how I'm going to die. It was the most strangest, scariest dream I can remember. I just hope my dad, papa and Tia Amaya are doing well and that their spirits are resting in peace, but seriously, I don't wanna dream where I'm floating above myself! That was too weird.
My dream--I was sitting in my living room trying to comfort my mother in law who had recently lost her sister. My mother in law was grieving and couldn't stop crying, my dream was utterly depressing...nothing I said, was making her feel better. In fact, Angelica began yelling at me in Spanish saying things like, leave me alone, you don't understand how it feels to loose a loved one. I did know how it felt, however, I walked away and let her be. This part of the dream is fuzzy, but I remember my dad standing in front of me smiling and saying, Ho babe! Finally yo hea, been waiting long time! You ready for go? I remember looking at my dad saying, WHAT?! Why are YOU here?! YOU'RE..................... DEAD!!! Then I notice my papa standing next to my dad and my dad tells me, I'm dead? No babe, You're DEAD! Then he smiles--but I'm completely unafraid. My papa says, come on we go...we gotta go already...been here too long, hurry up! Then before I could say anything, Angelica's sister (tia Amaya) shows up and is soo happy and smiles and says, Thank you for being with Angelica. You really helped her (I can't remember what else she said,) because at this time, I notice my self lying in the bed. As if I'm flying above my body looking at it and see my husband laying next to me. I swear it was like an out of body experience! I remember yelling at Frank trying to get him to look at me, but he kept sleeping...I remember waking up and crying. Literally bawling my eyes out cause I was like, WTH was that?!
All I can say is, I hope it's not a premonition to how I'm going to die. It was the most strangest, scariest dream I can remember. I just hope my dad, papa and Tia Amaya are doing well and that their spirits are resting in peace, but seriously, I don't wanna dream where I'm floating above myself! That was too weird.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
BLOGGING AROUND
First off, where has the time gone? I look at the date and see that it's already the 11th of APRIL! It wasn't too long ago when I was just putting up the decorations for the holidays and now tomorrow is Easter LOL
So much has happened in these past few months. For starters, It has become apparent that my husband is officially getting out of the military in a couple of years. Time for him to move on and be a civilian--he has served our country well and I am proud of him for that. My job is awesome. I love what I do, and strive to do my best daily--it's a challenge that's for sure! I and my staff survived Spring Break and I can't wait to go back to my 'normal' schedule on Monday.
My health is all right--can't complain--but really wish we could have children. It's not in God's timing though--one day though, when we're settled, we do plan on adopting. In the meantime, my dogs will have to endure being spoiled rotten and loved upon :)
I absolutely, without a doubt, love living back on the east coast. I don't miss the traffic, but I miss the energy, the lifestyle, and the ocean. It's not the same as the islands, but then again, it's an ocean and I'm grateful to see it everyday :)
I can't believe it's SPRING! Normally it isn't my 'favorite' time of year, due to the fact my allergies nearly killed me while living in Kansas, however since living here, I can honestly say that I don't miss the allergies and love the COLORS all around! The trees that line my street, to the birds on the deck just make me sooo darn happy! Goodbye, dreary winter, hello beautiful Spring. I also have to say that come May, I will most definitely be spending it outside on my deck enjoying my sun tea and a good book to read :)
So much has happened in these past few months. For starters, It has become apparent that my husband is officially getting out of the military in a couple of years. Time for him to move on and be a civilian--he has served our country well and I am proud of him for that. My job is awesome. I love what I do, and strive to do my best daily--it's a challenge that's for sure! I and my staff survived Spring Break and I can't wait to go back to my 'normal' schedule on Monday.
My health is all right--can't complain--but really wish we could have children. It's not in God's timing though--one day though, when we're settled, we do plan on adopting. In the meantime, my dogs will have to endure being spoiled rotten and loved upon :)
I absolutely, without a doubt, love living back on the east coast. I don't miss the traffic, but I miss the energy, the lifestyle, and the ocean. It's not the same as the islands, but then again, it's an ocean and I'm grateful to see it everyday :)
I can't believe it's SPRING! Normally it isn't my 'favorite' time of year, due to the fact my allergies nearly killed me while living in Kansas, however since living here, I can honestly say that I don't miss the allergies and love the COLORS all around! The trees that line my street, to the birds on the deck just make me sooo darn happy! Goodbye, dreary winter, hello beautiful Spring. I also have to say that come May, I will most definitely be spending it outside on my deck enjoying my sun tea and a good book to read :)
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
A 7 YEAR OLD MIRACLE
Jordin is now 7 years old! A little over 6 years ago My Nancy was told by numerous Dr.'s, nurses, and people she knew, that her son Jordin wouldn't survive. Jordin was born a healthy baby boy and due to his father's poor choice, Jordin became a victim of shaken baby syndrom. For as long as I live, I will never forget that phone call from Nancy. I was on my way back to Hawaii to stay w/ my parents while Frank was deploying for a year to the middle east--when Nancy called to tell me the devastating news, I was beside myself. I was clueless to what Shaken Baby Syndrom was until the day I saw for myself when I met Jordin for the first time in the hospital.
I look at the album Nancy and Jordin gave us earlier this year and reminisce of those hard times she went through. I see recent photos of Jordin and am so happy that he shut those doctors up--by survivng. He's 7 years old and living. He may never live what you and I call a 'normal' life, but whose to stop him from living and being a miracle--a 7 year old miracle. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JORDIN! Aunty Dawn and Uncle Frank love you ♥
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
MY NEW JOB
Today I started my new job. This is the 2nd job I've held since moving here LOL The first job was a bit far to travel to and I only would've worked 2 days a week (WTH?!) No travel compensation, no stability in the job whatsoever, but it paid $20p/h. Whatever...too bad it wasn't full time, then I would've stayed-NOT.
Today I started my new job, assistant director/bus driver/group leader. Pretty interesting in that there's only 35 kids, but today there was only 20+. Sooooooooo chill compared to the previous centers I've worked where we had at least 100+ kids in the morning and topping over 2oo kids in the afternoon LOL forget about all days outs where we were busting at the seams at 260+ YIKES! I laughed to myself when the Molly mentioned that it get too loud w/ just 11. Obviously she hasn't worked in a large group setting and doesn't do well w/ a large group. I was really feeling like I didn't contribute today, but then again, I was there to just 'observe.'
Even though this facility is brand spankin new and enrollment needs to get a boost, In the mean time I'm just gonna enjoy this laid back job for the time being. I've got things I'd like to implement into this program as well as my many ideas to helping boost this center to it's FULL potential. Watch out kids, Ms. Dawn is back and I'm comin in like a freight train ;)
Today I started my new job, assistant director/bus driver/group leader. Pretty interesting in that there's only 35 kids, but today there was only 20+. Sooooooooo chill compared to the previous centers I've worked where we had at least 100+ kids in the morning and topping over 2oo kids in the afternoon LOL forget about all days outs where we were busting at the seams at 260+ YIKES! I laughed to myself when the Molly mentioned that it get too loud w/ just 11. Obviously she hasn't worked in a large group setting and doesn't do well w/ a large group. I was really feeling like I didn't contribute today, but then again, I was there to just 'observe.'
Even though this facility is brand spankin new and enrollment needs to get a boost, In the mean time I'm just gonna enjoy this laid back job for the time being. I've got things I'd like to implement into this program as well as my many ideas to helping boost this center to it's FULL potential. Watch out kids, Ms. Dawn is back and I'm comin in like a freight train ;)
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